November 10, 2004

More on the Renewal of Baby Fever

What a relief. We were a little short on our paperwork (which we knew about), but our social worker approved our home and its orderliness/safety. Apparently, she was already three quarters of the way through the report she needs to submit about us. Yet it's truly lovely that she won't have to come back, except to do an annual verification while we wait, and four visits within the first six months the child is with us.

But I'll bet we aren't the first to get nervous about this process. The house was not as spic-and-span as I would have liked, but I did manage to shovel most of the clutter off of many horizontal surfaces. (I've often thought that clutterbugs should sleep in hammocks, since they don't provide level places for papers and whatnot to accumulate.)

I'm a happy girl, but I need sleep. And lots of it.

I'm now officially allowing myself to hope again: the spouse and I went out to an early dinner afterward, and on the way back I told Attila the Hub some thoughts I had on arranging the [gulp] nursery.

And he wants to have a baby shower once our approval is final. It looks like we may only be a few weeks away from that, though we'll see.

Meanwhile, I'm working on our "profile," the photo album they show to prospective birthmothers so they can select parents for their babies. (There's even a "leave behind," a resume with a photo on one page, with the "dear birthmother" letter on the flip side.)

We're continuing to discuss what our limitations might be on race, on learning disabilities, and on drug exposure. We continue to think about what degree of contact with the birthmother we would be open to.

Professor Purkinje, thanks for the photos. If my child is half as cute as yours are, I'll be very happy indeed.

Posted by Attila at November 10, 2004 07:24 PM
Comments

I hope everything goes perfectly. As someone who was adopted, I think what you are doing is fantastic.

Posted by: William Teach at November 11, 2004 05:07 AM


Thank you. I've known a handful of adoptees over the years, but the only one I'm still in contact with is my insane ex-boyfriend. So it's nice to hear from you.

It's a little discouraging, because there are so many couples waiting and so few babies. But we've been told that when the match is finally made (and these days this is usually done by the birthmother, which I think is good), they are often really cosmic, amazing matches. The social workers don't handle this--they stay out of the way and let the birthmothers bond with the prospective parents.

So all and all, it's good--I just hope this doesn't turn into a 2-3 year wait for us. I'm 42 and my husband is 51; we'd like this to happen while we still have some energy!

Thanks again.

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 11, 2004 12:09 PM


Best of luck!

Do you really think it will take years? For what it’s worth, I hope not.

Posted by: Daniel Morris at November 11, 2004 03:46 PM


Ugh. Me too. We met a family at our "baby care" class that had been waiting for close to three years.

We're thinking of talking to our priest, and asking him to keep his eyes open; maybe we can find a way to jump the line.

The agency handles three counties, and at any given point they have 100 couples approved and waiting for babies.

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 11, 2004 04:58 PM


Prayers for your beautiful healthy baby. Whatever you get the child will be lucky, you will be blessed...and we all get the benefit of another GOP voter!

Posted by: Don at November 12, 2004 09:24 AM


I'll definitely settle for someone who is conscientious and thoughtful about how she/he votes, and can articulate sound, non-emotional--yet moral--reasons behind the choices he/she makes.

My model is Larry Elder, who maintains that his political evolution was helped along by hearing his mother and father argue over the dinner table (his father was always a Republican, long before there were any black Republicans; his mother was always a liberal Democrat, though like many liberal Dems she tends to vote GOP these days, feeling that the Dem Party has abandoned her--not the other way around).

If nothing else, our child will hear two sides to a lot of social issues, since that's where my husband's and my areas of disagreement lie. (We're both libertarian, but there are still differences of opinion.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 12, 2004 11:34 AM




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