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February 18, 2005
When Your Jaw Aches,
and you're not sure whether it's because you've been tense, and grinding your teeth—or whether it's because you just gave your husband a blow job—I can help.
Tooth-grinding, tension: your teeth actually hurt, and there's pressure all over your head. You have a headache along with the jaw ache. And this will last all evening.
Just gave your husband head: the stress will be on the hinge to the jaw, and your tongue will also be a little tired (if, ahem, you were doing it right). You'll be right as rain in an hour, and the husband will treat you really well for a good two days. So even for sad people who create cost-benefit analyses for everything, fellatio should win as a worthwhile use of time.
Tooth-grinding from tension, however, does not. Avoid this.
So I get to work, and check posts before starting the day in earnest and read this? I have to work all day with this on my mind? And MyLovelyWife is sick, too, so there's no hanky-panky on the agenda when I get home to look foreward to. As I said before (http://littlemissattila.mu.nu/archives/057182.php), you are a *cruel* woman!
For ladies who want their men to trim down, may I suggest these activities be predicated on losing a pound. Fresh from the shower, weigh him every morning. Lost another pound? Instant sweet rewards! Didn't? Maybe tomorrow. His weight will drop like a rock! I once blogged on this idea (http://www.robinjuhl.homelinux.net/weblog/pivot/entry.php?id=249) with more details.
Man, it's going to be a long day....
Actually, it was the other thing on my mind: I'd just written a really tough piece of creative non-fiction, and had been grinding my teeth all day. I remember thinking:
1) I gotta stop this, before I need jaw surgery, and/or they make me wear one of those little tooth guards to bed.
2) If my jaw needs to ache, shouldn't it be for the right reason?
But I do leave weight control to my husband, so he'll leave my own to me. We're very libertarian that way.
"Let the issues be the issue.
About Joy W. McCann: I've been interviewed for Le Monde and mentioned on Fox News. I once did a segment for CNN on "Women and Guns," and this blog is periodically featured on the New York Times' blog list. My writing here has been quoted in California Lawyer. I've appeared on The Glenn and Helen Show. Oh—and Tammy Bruce once bought me breakfast.
My writing has appeared in The Noise, Handguns, Sports Afield, The American Spectator, and (it's a long story) L.A. Parent. This is my main blog, though I'm also an alumnus of Dean's World, and I help out on the weekends at Right Wing News.
My political philosophy is quite simple: I'm a classical liberal. In our Orwellian times, that makes me a conservative, though one of a decidedly libertarian bent.
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