April 30, 2005

Oh, Shit.

Jeff G and Lair are at it again.

I'm staying home, scared to death that one of them will get mad at me.

I've been sitting at my desk for two hours straight, hair standing on end, eyebrows raised and eyes wide open.

I may still be here tomorrow morning—in the same position. Terrified someone will think I took sides, and I'll end up in his laser-like sights.

The saving grace? Laurence is unlikely to respond to a post that refers to him as "Larry."

And me?—I kind of hope that when Attila the Hub gets home from the party he's attending tonight he'll coax me gently off to bed.

UPDATE: Jeff insists that the "Sudden Fiction" about a guy named Larry who lives in Houston, works in a cubicle and likes food wasn't about Laurence. So we have to take him at his word, because not doing so amounts to a sort of mind-reading. I'm not a mind-reader, and I therefore retract my assertion that the post was about Laurence.

After all, if it were about Laurence, there would have been cats.

Of course, it's too late now.

If Jeff and Lair were women this would be regarded as a "cat fight," but instead we'll have to call it a "brilliant, verbal domestically oriented warbloggers fight" or something like that.

Posted by Attila at April 30, 2005 11:20 PM

When elephants dance, ants die.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 1, 2005 05:33 AM

I'm only an ant if I cop to being an ant. And if I do, it doesn't count because I didn't mean it. ;)

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 1, 2005 09:12 AM

Uh, that post wasn't about Laurence Simon. It was just a piece of fiction about a magical burrito Indian.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 1, 2005 12:02 PM


Posted by: Attila Girl at May 1, 2005 01:36 PM

"When elephants dance, ants die."

Probably suffocated in elephant poo. Helluva way to go.

Posted by: gail at May 1, 2005 01:40 PM

My story had nothing to do with Laurence's post. Period. In fact, I was finishing it up when I received his first trackback. Unless you think I read Laurence's post at 12:47, then wrote mine in response and got it posted by 12:53.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 1, 2005 03:43 PM

You have awfully thin skin, Jeff. You use... what? SPF 100?

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 1, 2005 04:12 PM

When I don't have thin skin, I'm acting too above it all. Hard to reconcile, I realize, but hey -- if Bush can be an evil genius and a barely literate Christ-bothering bumpkin', I suppose I can be called on to play two roles at once.

It might make you feel better to think I have thin skin, but what I really have is a curiosity about why people like you spend so much time worrying about what others are doing and so little time on the important things, like posting more cat pictures and telling us more about what you baked on any given day.

But hey, the sun block joke? Now THAT's good stuff.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 1, 2005 04:26 PM

Re: your update.

I had no idea Laurence worked in a cubicle. And the protagonist Larry in my story didn't like food so much as he did not knowing what he was going to get from day to day.

In short, he hated the predictable, mindless, regurgitated memes of your standard mediocre burrito.

But that part was just a coincidence.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 1, 2005 09:13 PM

How dare you call me a brilliant, verbal domestically-oriented warblogger!

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 2, 2005 11:09 AM

Touchy, touchy!

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 2, 2005 11:25 AM

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