*snorfl!!!*

My dear LMA, the rest of us poor commoners call that "rain".

Rain. I thought they only had that in Spain, at least according to My Fair Lady. Hm. Are you sure?

O ,to be a gardener in the land of alternate reality!

Wait, wait--are you saying I'm not getting a good deal on the universal-broken-sprinklers thing?

That's silly: you don't even know how much I paid him.

Do the expansive grounds of Chateau Joy really require the services of a gardener? What did you pay the crew to dry the sidewalks/driveway?

I did it myself with a blow dryer. I'm trying to save money, remember?

[We're in fire country. If we didn't get help we'd lose even more money from periodic fines from the fire department.]

It's been at least six months since I've seen a raindrop around here. This is not even normal for this desert. I think we must have broken some kind of record this winter.

On the other hand, the temperatures have been exceptionally pleasant this winter. It was up into the upper 70's this weekend, and rarely have the high temperature not broken into the 60's.

That's pretty reasonable for AZ--in both directions (sounds like the temps aren't ranging too high, and they aren't dropping too low after sundown, like they sometimes do in the winter).

Yes. I remember you are watching every dollar!

I'm surprised you don't (yet) have to file an Environmental Impact Statement to clear the brush, weeds, and assorted debris from your property. And who can say that your ants are like any other without a LMA ant genome project?

I'm afraid there's only one way to answer these important questions: FEDERAL FUNDING! The more, the merrier!