March 17, 2006

New From Pastor Jack

. . . who isn't a compulsive forwarder, but loved this, for what he calls "The Frozen Chosen." I hope that isn't me; I'll bet it is.

Hymns Of The Lukewarm Church: For God's Frozen People

The LukeWarm Church announces publication of "Church Songs," whose title, according to the editor, was selected because "we didn't want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like 'worship' or 'hymn.' People in today's society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They'd much rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our book seeks to meet that need."

Sample contents:

— A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
— Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
— Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
— Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
— All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name
— My Hope is Built on Nothing Much
— Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
— My Faith Looks Around for Thee
— Be Thou My Hobby
— O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
— Blest Be the Tie That Doesn't Cramp My Style
— Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
— He's Quite a Bit to Me
— Oh, How I Like Jesus
— I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus
— Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
— I Surrender Some
— Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow
— I'm Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives
— Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord is Come
— Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
— Special, Special, Special
— Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
— Stick Nearby, It's Getting Dark Outside
— Take My Life and Let Me Be
— There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
— There Shall be Sprinkles of Blessings
— What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
— When Peace, Like a Trickle. . .
— When the Saints Go Sneaking In
— Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
— God of Taste, and God of Stories
— Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize

Posted by Attila Girl at March 17, 2006 08:21 AM | TrackBack

When I was going to college in Duluth, MN I went to the on-campus Lutheran service. It was run by the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), who I joshingly call LINO, Lutheran In Name Only. I asked myself, "How different could it me?" The only memorable difference was no mention of God in any of the hymns. We were singing about trees and wind blowing, but no God. I thought I was at a service run by Greenpeace. From then on I stuck with the occasional Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod service. And don't get me started on the blue vs. red hymnal business.

Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 17, 2006 01:10 PM

That's funny!

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 17, 2006 01:53 PM

I used to publish a newsletter for a couple of Lutheran nonprofit organizations here in L.A., and there was always this balancing act between the ELCA and the LCMS. I think a lot of the people I worked with leaned toward the LCMS, but they couldn't say it. At the time, women who wanted to become ministers had to be ELCA, since it was still a no-no in the LCMS (I don't know if that's still the case).

My mother's new church is so vague it makes the Unitarians she used to hang out with look downright conservative.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2006 06:39 PM

Oned of the funniest cartoons i ever saw, New Yorkedr magazine style, was of a New York liberal, Riverside church type, raising his eyes and beginning to pray:

"O God, if there is a God, . . ."

Posted by: Averroes at March 17, 2006 07:24 PM

Still no female pastors in the LC-MS, and that won't change anytime soon.

When the ELCA was created many conservative congregations got swept into it. There are tensions still in places like Minnesota.

I'm not sure how Thrivent, the financial services company, manages to market to all those different Lutherans.

Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 17, 2006 08:23 PM

I should check in at my local Methodist church: that's the denomination that's in my DNA. I may officially be a Catholic, but I have Protestant-level guilt.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2006 08:47 PM

"Somewhere In The General Vicinity My God To Thee"

Posted by: Daniel at March 17, 2006 08:48 PM

Them's some funny hymn titles!

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 17, 2006 09:52 PM

I can't relate to religion-inspired guilt. I never experienced it. There's that whole ecumenicalism that gives me the willies.

Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 17, 2006 10:05 PM

I would laugh, but some of those might be in the next United Methodist hymnal revision.

Posted by: J Rob at March 19, 2006 07:54 AM

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