October 24, 2006

I Hate To Be a Bigot,

but I am one.


what lies behind the inability of the average human male to wipe down kitchen counters? Is it related to the inability of the average human male to stock a refrigerator adequately?

Posted by Attila Girl at October 24, 2006 02:02 PM | TrackBack

Is it related to the inability of the average human male to stock a refrigerator adequately?

I object! My reefer is well stocked with several tasty selections from Samuel Adams, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, wait...this is one of those define "adequately", isn't it?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at October 24, 2006 02:48 PM

Well, one is tempted to point out that most people--and some males--prefer that a refrigerator contain Actual Food.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 24, 2006 03:35 PM

But pretzels don't need to be refrigerated.

Posted by: the Pirate at October 24, 2006 08:08 PM

Biology is destiny.

Which is to say at least a sizeable minority of men would starve without a female presence in their life.

Aand...they would have to move to a different cave every six months or so to escape the vermin.


Posted by: Desert Cat at October 24, 2006 08:16 PM

I always knew I wasn't average...TYVM!

Posted by: Darrell at October 24, 2006 09:53 PM

You're welcome, Darrell. I take it you are one of those rare creatures: a civilized male.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 24, 2006 10:31 PM

Desert Cat: vermin is good eating. You didn't know that poor cavekeeping was actually a survival strategy, did ya? bring the prey to you, that's what I'm talking about!

LMA: hey, I've got some fruit juice in my reefer, too. Gotta have something to mix the vodka and rum with. The fine Kentucky bourbon whisky is not in the reefer, however.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at October 25, 2006 04:54 AM

It's a matter of what you did when you were growing up. I always thought as a kid that adults were supposed to know how to do everything. It also helped being forced to do everything, I now see in retrospect. We never had any "outsiders" come in to do any project around the house. My dad was a tool and die maker who did everything from major electrical work to auto repair to general household repairs--painting and carpentry, etc. My mom took care of all the rest and had my brother and I helping from the time we could run a vacuum cleaner. Our dad encouraged doing things ourselves. In fact, his general method of teaching was to act like we should already know what we are doing. Even if it was rebuilding the power mower engine at age 8. His only rule was to know how to use tools properly and respect the thousands that we had. He could always "undo" anything we did improperly though, even messing with the TV set. It also helped having family members that didn't fit into normal gender roles for skills. We had male bakers and restaurant chefs and most of the females had worked in factories during the war. I didn't know that everyone else wasn't reared the same until I was on my own.

By the way, it doesn't give a male an advantage with women to do all these things well. Most women resent it. Especially when you are dating a woman with kids who ask you to cook. Or sew on a button.

Smart women, of course, know they can get guys to do anything with effusive praise and kind words of encouragement. I know that makes us sound like the family dog, but somehow it always works. Some guys pretend not to be able to do things just so they can avoid doing them. Often women contribute to the problem by jumping on men, screaming that they are doing things wrong, until they never touch another cleaning rag or washing machine again.

I dated a women in the 80's who was six feet tall and model beautiful(also a chemical engineer, lawyer, and new MBA)who had an obsession/compulsion with bathroom cleanliness. After I would finish with the bleach and other cleaning solutions, she would always re-do what I had already done. In this case, I didn't mind. She would remove all her clothes and scrub everything with a small brush and a Lysol solution on hands and knees. Afterward, she would pop in the shower, starting a vicious cycle! She would never tell me where this ritual came from, and frankly, it didn't matter. I am thinking about what you said about a woman's sexual organs being relatively hidden and it doesn't apply one bit in this case...Thanks for making me remember!

Posted by: Darrell at October 25, 2006 09:53 AM

Darrel, you speak truth. I was perfectly competent with the laundry machines in college. But somehow now I don't know what I'm doing. I throw in a load, she comes behind me to check on how I set the machine.

Women, he speaks the truth. With good food, sex, and genuine, effusive praise you can make us do literally anything. If any of the above three are lacking, you've got a hard sell on your hands, and are probably ultimately destined to fail.

IRADA, but who's going to gut and prepare the dang things?

Atilla, women don't *really* want "civilized males" do they? I thought that was part of our appeal. Otherwise we're just a girlfriend with a penis.

Posted by: Desert Cat at October 25, 2006 05:59 PM

Probably depends on the girl, huh? I like 'em civilized, myself. In certain ways, anyway.

Of course, that means they also have to put up with my wearing dirty smelly gardening clothes on every lucky day I can get that way.

Although I can't remember if any one ever, one time, washed those smelly gardening clothes for me. Hmmmm. Must remember to quiz Walter.

I know he's washed other laundry for me. He knows exactly how I want it, because he asked and learned. Of course, when you have all sorts of allergy issues, that makes a big difference.

I used to wash his stuff too. And asked him how he preferred it washed and folded. He was the one who taught me this neat way to fold t-shirts like they do in stores. I could never figure it out before.

The only one I didn't do was because I was just too sick - it was some way of folding his jeans or something I simply couldn't manage very well.

He washes all his own clothes, these days. When he comes home.

It makes up for every single one of the very, very many smelly laundry loads I've washed for guys.

I love the hell out of him for it. And tell him so. Especially when I offer to do some for him and he adamantly refuses to let me.

Because he's civilized.

Even though, here and there, he still leaves socks on the floor sometimes.

Posted by: k at October 26, 2006 01:14 PM

Oh! BUT!

He does NOT wipe down the kitchen counters.

He did once recently. Oh, yes, the effusive praise came out! Many smiley happy warm fuzzies for that good man!

Posted by: k at October 26, 2006 01:16 PM

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