August 15, 2007

So. Order of the Phoenix.

[Spoiler-free. I think.]

The husband and I saw Phoenix on Monday, and now I'm re-reading the book again. It's only my third Potter book in as many weeks. I'm half shocked and half delighted to see myself spinning into full-bore fan-girl mode this way, of course. It happens so rarely for me: every 30 years or so. When I'm 75 I'm quite certain some bit of popular culture—something current—will catch my eye, and I'll obsess over it. For a year or so, I'll be hip. I'm counting on it, if you want to know the truth.

It's a difficult moment, though: my husband has seen The Order of the Phoenix, but has not read The Deathly Hallows. My mother has read The Deathly Hallows, but has not seen The Order of the Phoenix (we may attempt to catch it in 3D, if it's still around next week).

But of course from moment to moment I'm not sure what I should—or may—talk to either one of them about. I musn't say too much about Hallows around the house, or I'll ruin it for my husband. I musn't discuss the casting choices in Phoenix with my mother, or I won't get a fresh perspective on it when she does see the film.

These, of course, are high-quality problems. Unless I do let something slip.

I'm ready to call my stepmother, who has a theory about some exotic discontinuity she thinks she caught in Hallows, that she was bursting to tell me two weeks ago—before I'd read the thing. I mean, sure: I've found some tiny little irregularities, but that's to be expected. After all, I'm a freakin' fact-checker, and Rowling suspended this work over the course of seven gazillion-paged books. It would have been bizarre if I hadn't caught a tiny error or two. The stepmother theory is different, of course; she honestly thinks she's caught Rowling in a major inconsistency of characterization. Naturally, I'm dying to know what that might be.

[Spoilers permitted in the comments section, if necessary: Honey, don't read this thread all the way through.]

Posted by Attila Girl at August 15, 2007 03:53 AM | TrackBack

Unless I do let something slip.

Loose lips sink ships

The obvious answer is to not discuss either, at all, ever, until all parties are on the same page of the play book. Hand AtH Deathly Hollows, take Mom to the movies. Tell them they have two weeks to complete their tasks, otherwise the spoilers will start flying.


Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at August 15, 2007 01:08 PM


you're MARRIED?


I never woulda thought somebody'd get near that skanky gash

Posted by: Rick Moron at August 17, 2007 08:09 AM


a troll


now if you can only get the wizard to give you a brain . . .

Posted by: Darrell at August 17, 2007 09:34 AM

I love "skanky gash" as a term for the female pudendum. Reminds me of looking through Hustler magazine in the 1970s and thinking "what a weird color: she looks like she's bleeding, but not in a really menstrual way. She looks like she had a dick, but it got cut off. Not that Larry Flynt is hostile to women, or anything like that. Nope."

That's totally going to be my next blog:

Posted by: Attila Girl at August 18, 2007 01:43 PM

Rick, mind telling us how you base this accusation? I bet you live in your mothers basement. Thats even disgusting in its Odeipes Rex symbolism. Has that third chin hair sprouted yet? Your social life pick up after payday for the "Rent a Date"? Oh sorry, after the government handouts, disability due to palm blisters...

Posted by: RWB at August 18, 2007 04:05 PM

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