March 16, 2008

The Right Kind of Three-Way . . .

How much time did I spend, in my twenties, trying to get it out of my boyfriend why it wasn't gay for us both to hop into bed with another woman, but it would be if we got into bed with another guy?

"If there are two men in the same bed, it's gay," he told me. "End of story."

Thank goodness Governor McGreevy didn't see it that way. Oh, wait . . .

Via Insty, who's downright tabloid-ey lately. Oh, wait . . .

P.S. Did you see the pix? Bunk.

Posted by Attila Girl at March 16, 2008 07:55 PM | TrackBack

And New Jersey still voted Democrat.

Posted by: BillyHW at March 16, 2008 09:23 PM

- Your b/f's contentions were manifestly silly. Manage can run the table in preferences, depending on how many cards of the same suit, and which doors swing in how many directions.

- I, of course, am only repeating what I've read, and have not a shred of first hand knowledge on the subject..........?........really.......well its true!

- Good day to you Miss!

Posted by: Big Bang Hunter at March 17, 2008 04:33 AM

Little Miss Attila:

Your rather self-absorbed boyfriend meant it wouldn't be gay FOR HIM to be in bed with two women.

Best regards;

Posted by: Ruy Diaz at March 17, 2008 04:37 AM

I don't know about other guys' problem with MFM three-ways, but my problem with them is the fact that our reproductive organs are both protruberant and delicate. The rest of the man is markedly less so, and real life sex (as with real life violence) is far more confusing and complicated than any carefully choreographed scene you ever see on TV or in the movies.

What you end up with is either a very careful but boring sexual tryst, or at least one set of mashed nads. You milage may, of course, vary.

Posted by: Tatterdemalian at March 17, 2008 04:55 AM

Because we don't like to share our women, but we want as many of them as possible.

Gay is just an excuse for the above.

Posted by: seguin at March 17, 2008 07:44 AM

Oh, please. Everyone knows that women aren't "gay", they're "lesbian". That's why it's "gay and lesbian association."

So two women together can't be "gay". :-)

Posted by: Greg at March 17, 2008 10:23 AM

......let alone the fact that a dude seeing another dude's ballsack from astern would surely require years of therapy, or a well-lit twig thrust into the cornea just so. Unless of course, the seer was, well, you know, gay.

Posted by: alppuccino at March 17, 2008 11:00 AM

Well yeah, your boyfriend was right, that's just the way it is. Just as there's really no such thing as a male bisexual (he's gay); or a man who's bi-curious (he's gay), or a guy who "experiments" in college (totally gay).

And whereas randy girls these days will often snog with each other at a party or on the dance floor to impress the guys, you'll note that MEN most certainly don't do this (unless they're gay).

Posted by: Mike at March 17, 2008 11:42 AM


Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2008 11:47 AM

Latest research - men are hardwired AC or DC, women aren't (it's social conditioning). Therefore men are either straight or gay, but women are inately bisexual.

That explains it all.

Posted by: bud at March 17, 2008 12:20 PM

Am I the only hetersexual male in the world who is turned off by the concept of trying to satisfy two women at once?

And girl-on-girl action doesn't do anything for me either.

Posted by: Lev at March 17, 2008 12:24 PM

"And girl-on-girl action doesn't do anything for me either."

Definite sign you may be gay.

Posted by: JD at March 17, 2008 12:38 PM

Lev: There's one other guy like that. My high school sweetheart was bothered by lesbianism. He sort of had this fear that it would affect the . . . supply line.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2008 01:03 PM

I bet I've done two men and a woman 3-ways 40 to 50 times in my life, and I never, never, never touched or kissed a man, let alone had sex with one. Never wanted to, never talked about it, never considered it. In fact, the idea makes me want to puke.

But, there were instances wherein a woman wouldn't "do" me or a buddy alone, but was delighted to have us both, and that was fine by me. And I've found that the fantasy was common and intense in a significant number of women. I was happy to be a part of that fantasy. I don't give a damn about seeing some guy naked (hell, I've spent half my life in gyms), but sending some babe up a wall has always had a powerful appeal for me.

Posted by: Kevin at March 17, 2008 02:24 PM

Well, Kev--according to some men, if you care about the woman's pleasure, that's gay, too.

I assume that this apparent paradox is hashed out somewhere in the world's locker rooms . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2008 02:43 PM

A man's boner should be between him and his woman/women. Another dude seeing your boner is gay.

Posted by: alppuccino at March 17, 2008 05:04 PM

Well, Kev--according to some men, if you care about the woman's pleasure, that's gay, too.

Uh oh...

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 17, 2008 05:13 PM


Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2008 07:14 PM

What do you call a man and two women? Menage a trois.

What do you call two men and a woman? Gang bang.

Gay gang bang. It's gay for a naked man to be in bed with another naked man, no matter who else is present, UNLESS:

the bed is very, very large (large enough so that the men rarely even glimpse each other), located in the Playboy Mansion, and has many, many women on it.

Posted by: jb at March 17, 2008 09:30 PM

P.S. It's gay for two women too.

Good gay.

Posted by: jb at March 17, 2008 09:30 PM

Have you noticed how much your traffic (at least as measured by comments) has increased since you stirred the pot last week?

There's a lesson in here somewhere...

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 17, 2008 09:47 PM

Yeah. It seems to be something like "get in the gutter and stay there; you'll end up there anyway."

Actually, I think my little mini-blogwar on gender and bodybuilding is incidental to today's traffic, which is of course due to the Instalanche--and subsequent links at Protein Wisdom, Ann Althouse, and Ace of Spades.

A cynical person remark that "there's no such thing as bad publicity." I myself, however, am not a cynic--only a skeptic.

So I'll reserve judgement ;)

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 17, 2008 10:17 PM

Swordfighting bad. Donut-bumping good.

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