It's . . . the Jerry and Joy Show!

I'm driving up to Shell Beach this afternoon to see my grandmother, aunt, and uncle. The dad/stepmom will also be in evidence, and the have "dibbsed" the guest room at my uncle's house, so I'll be at the local Oxford Suites once again. (I do love the Oxford suites: they'll give you a glass of wine before bed, and feed you a real breakfast in the morning, complete with eggs, bacon and hash browns.)

But now there's some guilt emanating from those who have benefitted from the "first come, first served" approach to my uncle's den:

My baby

now looky here

you have to call me late Friday or early Sat

Q1: do you want to ride with Wendy an I??

Q2: do you wish to save $ and sleep in the Shell Beach suite and

Wendy and I camp at Oxford with no Tivo???

love dad

I believe that is what they call "noblesse oblige." This is what he got back:

I'm not gonna call tonight; I'm going to bed early. We just put a bid in on a condo, and I'm stressed out. I may be in double escrow by the end of the weekend.

1) no, thank you; I have errands to do on the way there and on the way back, and I need to come back early-ish Sunday for the home inspection [I want to be on hand to answer questions];

2) no, thank you very very much; I have some work to do for a client, and I need silence/the internet/no one around to do it. So this isn't the right time. But perhaps I can take a rain check and make the swap next time I'm going up solo? (The husband would NOT get along with an air mattress.)

Your son (1) has a racquetball tournament this weekend, and (2) is engaged in his annual happy-birthday overtime extravaganza at work (those stupid performance reviews they want to all be done at work). I'm sure you know this; it always seems to wrap up around his birthday.

But surely we could all get together sometime after that?

It might also be cool if you could get my half-sister out here in the fall or something; I'd like to meet my youngest nephew.

If you let all my scheming slip to the enemy, you will be executed.

Love,

J

He likes being addressed that way; he really does.

Hi Executioner:

I've always wondered what stress is!!

Unless you call me to the contrary--you will drive independently??

You will sleep at Oxford Suites and my wife and I will air-mattress it!!

If you sleep so late--why do you go to bed early??

I really look forward to seeing you!!

love dad

He ought to know that I don't really go to bed early; I'm always just trying to go to bed early.

Dad:

I will drive independently; I cannot be harnessed to another person's gasoline-powered conveyance. I'm a free spirit. And stuff.

I'm sorry that life is giving you a hard choice like: (1) air-mattress, but TiVo and no little doggie on the trip, vs. (2) real mattress and little doggie, but no TiVo.

I'm sure our ancesters are crying over what we've come to in this family. Shall we hold a seance and hear how sorry they are for us?

--J

You'll see what I mean. He loves my edginess. The most he ever says is "did your parents not spank you enough when you were a child?" This line is usually employed at dinner parties.

My baby,

I am very proud of your command of the marvelous English language!!

Go to bed. Go to sleep. I really really look forward to
seeing you up in Shell Beach with the rest of the family.

Happy traveling

I have great feelings about the weekend!

love--dad

But he does have a point; it could be that in a few select senses I'm a spoiled brat. I can't imagine how a thing like that could happen.