April 18, 2006

Survey: Straight Men

How many gal-pals do you have? How many female friends you've never had sex with? How many women who are just friends, but you've spent the night with once or twice?

I'm doing research that will further the cause of Science.

All answers will be kept confidential—other than being published in a blog that anyone in the world can check on if they Google your screen name, or the phrase "fuck buddy."

Posted by Attila Girl at April 18, 2006 07:19 PM | TrackBack

Real or imaginary?
How would I know?

Posted by: Darrell at April 18, 2006 10:04 PM


I have four good female friends I haven't slept with. My wife would frown upon it, even if one or two are certainly willing. As it was clearly stated in "When Harry Met Sally", men and women have to sleep with each other at least one time before there can be a friendship (caveat: marriage does have an effect on this, but it still applies). Simply stated from my humble place as an observer of human nature, men and women first interact on the procreation level, then on the societal one.

When I was single I had one FB, a series of girlfriends, and two good female friends. I ended up marrying my best friend (after we finally got around to sleeping together). My FB had gone her own way (got married, has three lovers and a huge divorce settlement, last I heard). My other female friend is married and I have acquired three more. No more FBs; though any of the above mentioned four would not get kicked out if my wife approved (never going to happen!)

That's this man's world - according to our agreement at the engagement "I don't care where you work up your appetite, you just have to eat at home!"

SGT Dave

Posted by: SGT Dave at April 18, 2006 10:05 PM

Hmm. I've had plenty of female friends that I've not slept with (or had any intention of sleeping with) but most of them are married now. Do they still count?

As for what SGT Dave said, I guess the rules of normal human behaviour don't apply to me. Hey, I'm a geek. Male and female geeks first interact on the geek level, then on the social one.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at April 19, 2006 12:20 AM

If you're a homo, sleeping with someone is a mere formality to then deciding to "just be friends"

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at April 19, 2006 02:00 AM

I guess I might be a little out of the ordinary in my pov on this... Since I live with 5 women (my wife and 4 daughters), I guess my attitude towards the female gender has changed some.

I have several good female friends, mostly through my wife, who I have no desire to sleep with. Prior to marriage, I hade a few one-nighers, but never with anyone I considered a friend. There have been a few women who I probably would have persued sexual relationships with had they not been otherwise involved.

Posted by: Chris at April 19, 2006 06:13 AM

I'm with SGT Dave: straight men interact with women on a procreative level before the social one. A man has to have hope, you know...

I have a boat-load of women who I treat as friends. And to a woman, if it where a perfect world (no STD's, no one got pregnant unless both parties agreed, there where no awkwardness later), I'd sleep with almost every one of them. Even the lesbians. Maybe especially the lesbians[1].

There are three exceptions. One has pretty much slept with every guy she knows. Sorry, one of us has to play hard-to-get ;-). One, who got off to a bad start with me when I first met her, managed to show her unsuitability every time I thought "yeah, maybe I should ask her out". The third is a true and dear friend, we get a long great, but she has a couple of REALLY ANNOYING HABBITS that REALLY PISS ME OFF. And I've been the person she comes to talk to when she needs to vent about her life, so I get an upclose and personal view of the less pleasant aspects of her life.

But I'm pretty much done with her. I've had enough, and I'm in the process of limiting contact.

[1] seems I get along better with the lesbians...dunno why, but there it is.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at April 19, 2006 07:30 AM

I randomly bumped into your site, but for whatever reason figured I would post on the survey.

I suppose 25 year old virgins are out on this
survey? If not, I have had several close female friends, most of whom are married at this point, though there is a half-way close one still around, and the second part has already been answered.

Posted by: galletador at April 19, 2006 08:54 AM

Well, I think I kinda skew the results...I'm faithfully, happily married and I teach in a school full of teacher ladies of varying ages. I try to stay friendly w/everyone.

And Chris, dude, you may want to edit that first sentence of your second paragraph for clarity. If your wife's not of a kind and charitable nature like mine, she may be forced to misunderstand...

Posted by: John at April 19, 2006 04:36 PM

Almost all my female friends are so via my wife or are hooked up with a buddy. I can't say I'm real close to any of these women; where, for example, I can just call to shoot the breeze or be in the same room in and feel comfortable saying nothing.

Perhaps this is a good thing as, I feel, chemistry is always a potential threat. Worse yet, in my opinion, it's pretty hard for most red blooded guys to find a woman-nearly any woman-unattractive enough to not consider, at least for a moment, in that light.

As for spending the night under the same roof with a female friend, I can't say I have without either my buddy being in the same bed with her or her looking like one of Sauron's Orcs (OK, that was mean). Sorry to be cynical on the subject but with guys, straight or gay, ulterior motives always seem to be lurking near. By and large, you are the better half.

Posted by: Dalsan at April 19, 2006 05:17 PM

Oh, if you only knew us.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 19, 2006 09:09 PM

Since getting married I have had two such friendships. The second one lasted several years, and was affectionate enough to feature handholding and an occasional light kiss.

Posted by: triticale at April 20, 2006 03:42 AM

Oh, if you only knew us.

This is precisely why I FEER women. I am unmarried for a reason... ;-)

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at April 20, 2006 07:22 AM

Is it that spanking thing?

Posted by: Darrell at April 20, 2006 08:30 AM

Only one I consider a friend and nothing more, which is odd, since we think alike.

Everyone else is fair game, though now that I am older I avoid the married ones. Way too many complications.

Oh and another thing I found out in my old age, looks have nothing to do with how a person is in bed, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Posted by: Jack at April 20, 2006 01:48 PM

My friend, "Bill," needs you to define "sex." And wants to know if it has to be concensual. My friend, "Hillary" needs to know if it counts if you thought it was a woman because it "felt really, really good" but it turned out to be a male "friend" because underarm and facial hair is not as big a giveaway as you would think in her social circle. "It was dark," she said.

Posted by: Darrell at April 20, 2006 07:48 PM

BTW, as a homo, I was friends with 2 straight women whose insecure husbands made them break off the friendship

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at April 21, 2006 07:33 AM

That's about as bent as it gets.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 21, 2006 08:57 AM

I had a friendship with a woman. She was a bartender and I was a customer.

But we ended up doing it anyway, mostly for the simplest reason- that we could.

In case you don't know, men immediately size up every female we meet as a potential sex partner. It's as automatic as breathing.

Posted by: Barry at April 24, 2006 03:10 AM

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